They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I currently don't understand fingers.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
