how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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