He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
