pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
