I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
