I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
