im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
