sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
