I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
There are leaves in my underwear?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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