Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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