Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
