We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Randomize
