Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
