it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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