just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
