I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My vagina is very pro this idea
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
