peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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