We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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