I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
