She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
This baby is an asshole
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
