The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
