Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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