The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
