We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
