Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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