I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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