Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
