Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
