I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
