i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
