Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
