Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
