There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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