You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
