True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Randomize
