the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
