Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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