Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
