i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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