My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
