So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
