I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
