can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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