i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
