Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
