the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
she told me i tasted like america
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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