bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
