You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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