Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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