she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
