Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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