kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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