Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
