Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
