You're completely useless in the revolution.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
