You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
